Update on reflective assessment of learning in ED 589

An analogy to fishing came to mind when I tried to clarify my reflections on the learning process in qualitative research. It isn't elegant or prosaic, but true enough to the flavor of my attraction, passion and overall confusion of late. Its as if I now have gills to breath the air of a new and wonderful surrounding, one I've always dreamed of venturing into, and fins to swim fast and sure, all the native equipment, but there is this tugging in the other direction. A straining pull toward the surface, calling me out of my immersion. But, I've taken the bait. I'm running fast. Stripping the reel of all the line that once held my beliefs about "what is learning" and "what is teaching". My well disciplined scientist's conscience is trying to reel me in, like I¼ve betrayed a sacred oath to objectivity. Like I¼m not supposed to be looking at things this way, not involving myslef in the data, not influencing the process under study. Something certainly seems very right about it, but not at all comforting to my well disciplined and highly trained aloof researcher self concept.

I'm presently deeply embedded in an ongoing experience in science teaching (Integrated Scinece 103). It has been a long time in coming this drift from science research to science education research: first geology, then earth systems science, then oceanography, through environmental education curriculum development, auditing science teaching, and finally formalizing a future in science education research. The metamorphosis from scientist to education researcher is a very rewarding personal transformation, but not as comfortable as I had presumed it would be. Although I've rarely felt more perfectly instep with my passion, yet, there is a reluctance....

This barb in my gut is unnerving. I wish I could break the line, bite through the filament, hurl the hook and forge ahead.

The old fisherman self is cranking that reel, pulling me back to the more familiar territory of quantified data, of gathering "hard" numbers from observations, of categorizing, of coding, of sorting, ranking, "de-meaning", ordering about some "normed" reference, the analysis of vairance. The nagging doubt of my ability not to find patterns with other than these tools of the trade, to reveal trends and highlight relevant details, to convincongly and powerfully explain my interpretations without resorting to numerical distillations... But aha, still the goal is to find the "richer" meaning, to draw out the relevant discourse, to focus my intent on the experience itself and not just on the outcome to be sifted through at some later date looking for hidden meaning!

This barb that aches me is a one-sided researcher viewpoint that doesn¼t like to lose control of the experiment. It is all the justified, explained and trustworthy dialog of my mentors in science screaming "keep it objective". It is the fear of seeing my dream of being a serious researcher fade in the light of what I know to be a new and powerful and yes, effective research approach, that of participant observer, of embedded researcher, subtly manipulating the direction of the study, in and while it is in progress, of morphing my focus to suit the developing repore with colleague participants, of affecting the experience. Is this good science? Can it be good research practice?

My gut tells me yes, the literature, with which I am gaining familiarity, but admittedly have years of catching up to yet, tells me emphatically yes. That to truly effect science education and study the effectiveness of new approaches now necessitates my immersion in the process. To not separate myself from those I am trying to help learn science, but to "be in their face" to be at their beconning for advice on next steps to take in finding a solution to some experimental problem, to demonstrate cooperative research and collaborative learning, and to influence their attitudes and opinion about natural history and environmental science. All this is very powerful and liberating in giving me new focus and rewarding of my new direction as a life-long learner and lover of science inquiry. And yet, the reluctance.

What is the reluctance? I¼ve about run out of line here.

Twang!
Snap!
a slackening.....

It is the process of getting it all down that gets me so uptight. Of committing it to paper and the scrutiny of others. It is somewhat disarming and gives me high anxiety to go out on a limb in interpretation with supporting data being my own impressions of happenings, things I consciously or unconsciously manipulated in order to explore a process I am affecting as I study it. I guess my fear comes from the unfamiliar still. And it seems that no amount of reading the experts will make me less uncomfortable. I guess experience will at the same time sharpen my observation skills and dull my sensitivity to exposing my feelings in my writings and interpretations. Still, I¼ve never felt such writer's block as when I attempt to express myself as as qualitative researcher.

This truly is the greatest of my ongoing learning experiences of late. The fear is still there, but now exposed, now rendered in the concrete, I will attempt to sculpt it and varnish it with layer upon layer of rich description and reference to the masters. I can even use it (my own struggles) in my conversing with my students about the nature of science, of formal inquiry, of power issues in science and teaching, of trustworthiness in research and insightful reporting. And finally I can justifiably address it (as was never acceptable in my previos life as a quantitative researcher) in communicating the powerful importance of self reflection in the maturation of a researcher.

Well, enough of the preable and running off at the pen on all my fears and discomforts in this the "qualitative approach".

It is indeed powerfully insightful to get myself in a habit of recording snippets of conversations in my classes and outside of them. The things said, actions observed and noted, the interpretations of colleagues and on-lookers, all these I previously took note of but did not assign great value to. Now they are becoming the very data and backbone of a rich description of a unique experience in science education and science teaching.

All this data gathering, the notes on conversations had in class, of informal interviews in the halls, in my little office cubicle, or downtown at the Garden Restaurante, all these are richly adorned in meaning and portent. But how do I sift through it all and gleen the most important substance? It¼s all in the coding I guess, and I¼m not quite there yet.

I'm gathering other data too. I've gotten a number of informal essays handed to me from student participants in the Integrated Science (Inter103) course that is a major part of my developing science education study. I am trying to get at what the "nature of science" is in their eyes, and what it means "to be a researcher", what it is "to do science", and what these teachers to-be think the role of science and structured inquiry into natural processes and phenomena mean to them and their teaching. In other words, what exactly is science? What is different about the "scientific approach" if anything? And what do they think science has to offer them as citizens. Most importantly, what does scinece inquiry offer them as teachers. Further, having asked what science is, I want to know what and how they plan to teach or guide their own students in learning about science and the natural world.

In my own mind "science" is not an other form of inquiry. Science is only a general term we give to a mindset approach to inquiry. The inquiry is still very much flavored by our background, experience, social context, beliefs, and even our gender, race, and age. Nevertheless, it is something that should be universally accessible as a strategy for building knowledge. And of "natural history sciences", they are only the most immediately relevant subject matter to study, and my own prefered and promoted field of inquiry, one that I truly believe we must ever more deeply address as we build a globally responsible cooperative citizenry. All of this is firmly grounded in my background as a natural science researcher and wilderness advocate.

I'm still in the process of learning how best to cite myself and my informal notes, field journals, essays and other data, but I know that I can find parallels in the work of other natural history philosophers, scientists, and essayists. I am still building my references.

Some general references to the influencial readings of my early adult life, even my late teens include:
Jack London
Issac Azimov
and later in my early twenties:

Carlos Castaneda
Alan Watts
Ram Dass
and further into my late twenties and early thirties:

Wendell Berry
Roderick Nash
E.O. Wilson
Ken Wilber
Fritjof Capra
Joseph Campbell
Barry Lopez
Albert Einstein
Richard Leakey
James Gleick
Michael Cohen
Steven Jay Gould
Carl Sagan

Other important foundational resources: the BIBLE (Christianity), The Bagavad Gita, The Tibetan Book of the Dead, The Mythic Image, and more...

I have a pretty good library of personal favorites. I need to build up the list of educational researhcers.

These and other writers had a big effect on my thinking, on the developing foundations of my passion for learning about the workings of the world, the physical, material, process, and unseem unifying grand themes, patterns in natural materials in the tempo and cadence of the natural world surrounding me. Also and as important, perhaps more so to the work at hand is the building of a reference set for guiding my actions in the actual research ongoing and ahead. My knowledge of the field of science education, teacher education, constructivism, action research and participant observation is limited to the reading from this class in qualitative research and those articles that have spun out of the texts assigned, and in some cases found in serendipitous searches in the library and on the internet.

I must admit that my personal and childhood background has certainly influenced my decisions to focus on natural history, science education.

I grew up the youngest of five children in an upper middle class rural setting in Malibu CA. Alway wanting to be included, I was quick to learn from my siblings, and quicker yet to follow in their footsteps into the great outdoors for learning about nature in the wild. The wild hills of Malibu Canyon were my backyard. A rushing creek with native steelhead, catfish, turtles, snakes, frogs, and all manner of wild thing were there close at hand.

I was rarely restricted in where I could go or what I could do and often encouraged in my exploring of every nook and cranny, every crevice and pool. My mother was an avid outdoors person, her best friends naturalists/artists. My father was a businessman but loved the great outdoors and the beach, the surf, and nature. He provided a stable home and together my folks nurtured our growth and inquisitiveness. Being comfortable in a stable family, with significant means allowed me to indulge in my fanitasy with nature. I admit that I was spoiled by many people¼s standards, but I was not in control of that. Indeed, I took full advantage of it in getting myself into all manner of mischief. So I saw mostly the good side of a friendly little afluent society, safe from crime and poverty.

I was shielded from the more brutal existence of human suffering in the big cities, in poorer areas and in other counties. My compassion for human suffering came a bit later in life when I was introduced to other cultures, traveled in other countries and reflected on my own good fortune. Perhaps it is a direct result of having experienced afluence, that I perceive a dire need to work on problems of global environmental education, educational equity and communications technology. I hope that it will lead to collaboration in international work, in equity education, natural resource preservation, biodiversity conservation and social justice. But in deciding on a starting point, I have settled with what I know, and that is environmental science and technology. I only hope that I can convey a vision of equity in natural resource distribution, respect for nature and culture, and the value of nature and diversity. Beyond that, I have designs to have environmental science education take on an international cooperative aspect with voice and opportunity provided to children growing up in developing countries. When we all can share our local experience, what life is like for us locally, then we can begin to appreciate eachother and our common bond with nature, earth and the family of humanity.

So, wild and wild things were my joy while growing up. Being in wild places, pretending to be a wild „indian¾ was my ever day childhood play. My compassion has always been for the helpless creatures of nature. And though I did my share of torturing frogs and skinning lizards, I also came to know their homes, their daily routines, the wonder of their little lives. Rural Malibu, the celebrity town was not without its problems however. And growing up in the sixties, no town was safe from the social upheaval that was to deeply affect my generation. It was in many ways a charmed life I had as a youth. But it all seemed to end rather quickly with one of those devastating coastal brushfires of the late indian summer of 1970. We, and many other families lost everything, and the town looked like a vicim of an ari raid. Burned out churches, smoldering homes, crumbling chimneys where once had stood the proud homes of my friends. This indeed was a natural disaster. Or was it? Perhaps it was this powerful display of natural process not beholding to human wishes that really drove me to want to understand nature. This along with the few but strong and mysterious „earthquakes¾, the flooding of the local river, the washing away of beachfron homes perched on stilts above the pounding surf. All this natural fury was intriguing to me. It sent me the message every day that there are things that no one can control, that no amount of science and technology will master such things. And yet deep and focussed inquiry might bring some solice and help me to better accept the youth that I had felt was stolen from me in those turbulent fiery years of my ealiest adolescence.

It was just at that time also that I began exploring altered ways of perceiving the world. It was after all 1970, I was living in a trendy resort town, and it was relatively safe, and everyone I knew and trusted was also exploring it. It ran its course with only minot mishap. I did learn a lot about myself and the processes of human perception. Most importantly for me it was not a bad set of experiences, unlike those of many people I knew who became very confused, absorbed, addicted or self destructive as a result of their experiences.

Throughout all of these experiences of my late teens and early twenties, I came closer and closer to finding a vocation. I settled on "field geologist" in college as a dream livelyhood, only to learn that the hey day of that work was past. But I hung in there and would up working in another frontier. That of the ocean. As "Oceanographer" working for the US Geological Survey, and later as marine geophysisist/oceanographer in training at the University of Rhose Island where I finished all but Dissertation in Geological Oceanography. But the study of nature would not alone hold my interest. I wanted most to influence others. To show the uninitiated the wonderful worlf of natural history, to help build in others an appreciation of and for the earth, earth processes, of kindred species, habitats and ecosystems. And in all my work and study of the earth and its history I say an urgent need to bring understanding to the general poublic. What it all boils down to from my perspective as an earth systems science and natural science education advocate, is that the human species is on the brink of causing the collapse of not only its own social systems and civilization, but may well cause the collapse of a myriad web of interactive ecosystems world wide. I¼m not just an alarmist or doomsayer in stating this belief. I base it on historical precedent (as can be cited in examples from the ancient world of humans and more importantly of other great species throughout earth history), the writings of many noted individual scientists (EO Wilson, among others) and many international science organoizations (Union of Concerned Scientists, USGS, WWF, NASA, NOAA, EPA, NSTA) and many educators.

So where do I go from here? Well it all starts with this immediate opportunity to hone my thinking, sharpen my skills in data gathering (data here refering to opinion, belief, attitude of teachers in training), in documenting the development and evolution of a unique science education opportunity being offered in the College of Education here at U of I.

And it all start with the conscientious recording of observations, conversations, gathering of artifacts, and interviewing of participants to learn what their beliefs and attitudes are, how they plan to incorporate earth systems science in their teaching, and what values they place on nature, cooperative inquiry, and their role in influencing children in their learning.

Futher notes to explore: compiling a list of the most influencial writers affecting my thinking about earth systems, deep ecology, time, space, evolution, and educational thought.